As it’s National ‘Mean girls’ day today…I thought this would be a perfect time to share my experience.
In my teens and *just* into my twenties I had been part of a big group of girl friends. We went on holidays together, laughed together and cried together. I loved having lots of friends, there was always someone there to talk to or give advice, always someone to meet up with if you were bored and I thought we’d always be friends. How wrong was I?
Looking back on it now, it wasn’t as great as it seemed at the time. There was always bitchiness and jealousy among some of the group and girls would take sides with one and isolate the other etc. I always tried to stay neutral in those situations, I like everyone and anyone. I treat everyone with the same respect (sometimes more) than they give me, I was a lot softer by nature then, but now, if you cross me – You’ll know about it.
That’s exactly what one of my *best* friends did. I was on holiday with another friend of mine and this so called best friend of mine slept with my *then* boyfriend!
A friend out of our group told me what she’d done when we got back. I confronted her and she swore blindly that she hadn’t. I confronted him and he said the same. Naively, I believed them – either I was too young and dumb to see through them or they both deserve an Oscar. If she had come clean to me at the time and admitted it – it would’ve been him that I showed the door too, but she didn’t, she stayed quiet. She let me move in with this guy when she knew what they had done.
He became more and more controlling and she became more and more distant (probably out of fear of me finding out the truth). So did the whole of the ‘gang.’ No one was there for me, no one was on my side. I was the one being isolated.
When I finally did see the light – after slip ups on both their parts – I spoke to her. I was crying, upset and I actually apologised to her! I wanted my girls back. Do you know what she said? ‘It’s too late for that, it just won’t work anymore, I don’t think we can be friends.’ She was the one in the wrong but somehow she was the one that got to keep all our ‘friends.’ She was definitely the ‘Regina George’ of our group! I was devestated (at first) but then I realised if they could just drop me like that, then they never really were very good ‘friends’ to begin with.
So to sum up, do I miss my ‘sex and the city’ style girl gang? Sometimes yes…but overall no. I keep my circle a lot smaller these days with true friends who would – and have been – there for me in a crisis! Some girls can be so mean. So if you find yourself in a similar predicament, let those toxic people go…new people will come into your life and it’ll be even better than you could have ever imagined – you go Glen coco!! X