Get a career dear…

I’ve always envied those people who have known from a young age what they have wanted to do and pursued the right channels in education and life to get there. I never knew what I wanted to do, I think half the problem stems from having too much choice. To name a few I’ve wanted to be, an actress, an artist, a psychologist, a spaceman (until I watched that awful George clooney film where they spun so much it made me feel sick) a mermaid (that ones a long shot…but hey you’ve gotta have dreams) and everything in between. 

I had acting lessons when I was younger, for one term. I really enjoyed them but at the time I don’t think my mum could afford them and also told me that she didn’t think acting was a real career option for me…maybe she was right but they’ll always be an empty space on my shelf where that Oscar should’ve been 😉

One thing I’ve always loved is writing but I guess I never thought of it as a career option until a few years ago. I would love to be a published author one day. To see my words printed in an actual book…that one day may be turned into a play or a film that I (I mean real actors) could perform in. But again I get the doubts, will it be good enough? What if no one likes it? What’s the point you’ll never get published anyway?! So I don’t get any further than a few scrambled and rambling pages in a notebook. If you are a published author I take my metaphorical hat off to you…it’s hard work, but I imagine is so, so worth it! 

So basically what I’m trying to say in a round about way is, if you don’t know what career path you want to pursue yet – don’t worry we all get there in the end, it just takes some longer than others to realise their dreams…and even if your mum says you can’t do that…you can! Unless it’s like a serial killer or something…you definitely shouldn’t pursue that haha! So JK Rowling…watch out 😉 X 

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Two years ago…

Two years ago today was the last time I heard your voice before you became too medicated to speak. I told you how much I loved you and that you were my dad in my heart and always would be, how proud I was of you and that you were my idol. Even though MS had taken your body down bit by bit, your beautifully funny, sarcastic, spirited and clever mind never faltered. You ran a successful business even though you hadn’t left the house in years through being wheelchair bound, smoked like a trooper, washed down your medicine with a Jack Daniels and coke and always enjoyed life even though you were dealt some bad cards. Your laugh was infectious, your smile lit up the room. Although you could be a pain in the ass at times, like making me roll you 10,000 cigarettes a day (may be over reacting a little bit) I’d do it all over again for just one more day with you. Thank you for teaching me what a real dad should be. Thank you for being my best friend. Thank you for the true love you made my mum feel (I’ve never seen two people more made for each other than you two) and thank you just simply for coming into our lives. I love you and I miss you everyday. I may not have shared your blood but I shared your heart…and that’s more than enough for me. Two years ago I went to sleep holding your hand, you may not have woken up…but you live on everyday in my heart 💗