Here ear…

The past three weeks have been a little bit of a nightmare. 

My daughter was booked in to have her ears pinned back, her first ever operation. She handled it wonderfully…no tears…no drama…mummy on the other hand had a full on Kim K cry face sob when she went under the anesetic. I wondered if I was doing the right thing, hoping everything would go to plan and I could have her back with me soon. 

Once she was under I was handed a little buzzer…you know the ones you get in the harvester?…I was told when she was awake the buzzer would go off and I could retrieve my child, which made me feel like I was waiting for a table not my baby lol! 

The operation is classed as a day case, so once she was awake, eating and drinking again she was allowed to go home.

After taking the bandages off, one ear looked more sore and redder than the other one – but that was the one that was more prominent so we thought nothing of it. She had no temperature, no pain, nothing so we just cleaned it everyday and hoped it was getting better.

When we went for her one week post op check up – we were told that they were not happy with the redder ear and she would have to be operated on again right there and then. I had the baby with me, no clothes or anything for Lulu and I was a bit shocked that my little girl was about to have her second anesetic & operation within a week. 

When she awoke the second time, she was sore and sad and that made my heart sink. I was also told that she would be kept in for a few days on strong iv antibiotics as the ear is a hard place for antibiotics to get too. The baby was not allowed to stay at the hospital so luckily we had lots of great family members on board to take it in turns with me as to who would stay what nights. I wanted to be with her all the time but also didn’t want to leave the baby for too long so it was difficult, the more children you have the harder it is to split yourself in these sorts of situations.

Anyway Lulu felt fab in herself following the op and I think started to get cabin fever stuck in the hospital with the lovely weather outside. It was almost one week after the second op, her ear looked great, she was doing really well and I was expecting them to say we could go home but they dropped another bombshell…they wanted her fasted from that evening to possibly have a third surgery in the morning. 

I lost it by this point. The thought of her having to have a third surgery in two weeks when she was making great progress really really upset me. Thankfully the next morning the surgeon came round and said her ears looked great and we could *finally* go home! Which was great timing as we had a holiday to Devon booked for the following day and she so needed the sea air and change of scenery. We’ve still got two weeks of oral antibiotics to get through and we’re not necessarily out of the woods yet but we’re on holiday…her ears look fantastic…her confidence has grown and she’s so happy with them…although I’ve been told I need to learn how to do plaits now haha! X 

To all of the wonderful nhs staff that looked after my baby and helped to calm my nerves…thank you 💗

Advertisements

All I ever wanted…

Have you seen the gorgeous Melimelo bags? There’s one that resonated with me so much. The slogan on it was ‘All I ever wanted was everything’ and I am so guilty of this. But what do you class as everything? Is anyone ever truly happy and satisfied with what they have? It’s human nature – we always want more.

When I was younger I used to think when I have the perfect house, car, clothes,figure and designer handbags coming out of my ears…that’s when i’ll have ‘made it.’ Approaching 30, renting, covering my lumps and bumps in primark leggings and barely being able to afford a gingerbread house – let alone the dream house on rightmove, I see now that that, in fact was not ‘everything.’

Seeing people I love, fighting just to stay alive, to have one more sniff of a loved ones head. To get oxygen into their lungs. To hear I love you one more time. You realise that however lovely it would be to have the materialistic items – none of it means anything really. You wont want to hug your designer shoes when the end comes, you wont be flicking through photo albums of your top spec cars, reminiscing about how much money you’ve spent over the years. It will be the people that you shared your life with, the ones you gave life too and the friends along the way…that’s who you’ll want there, that is what matters. Money may be able to buy you a certain amount of happiness but it cant buy you life.

I am very lucky to have been able to of had two beautiful children that I love with every atom of my being, I have a wonderful partner, mother, siblings and friends. My children have their health and I have mine to be able to look after them and watch them grow – and that, to me…is in fact – MY EVERYTHING.

Grey is not okay!…

So Halloween came a few days early for me when my hairdresser of many years said those words women around the globe dread to hear…’Oh look, it’s your first grey hair.’ Panic stirred inside me & I started having a ‘late twenties’ crisis (I hate to think what my mid life one will be like haha!) What have I achieved? Where is my life going? Will I ever meet the one? Will I have more babies? 

It seems like everything has flown by so quickly, I can remember being at reception in school…and now I have a daughter that goes to the very same school – with some of the teachers that taught me (wonder how old that makes them feel!) I remember my 18th, my 21st and all the years inbetween like it was yesterday but it wasn’t and that scares me. I wish I could go back and savour every moment good or bad. It’s like I was born…I fast forwarded 27 years…and now I’m a grey haired (one hair…but still)  *almost 30 year old 😱 when did life pass me by. Btw I know how totally dramatic I sound but one grey hair at a time my youth is slipping further and further away – so my crisis drove me to create a tinder account (I will update you in my next post about this lol)  book in for more regular hair maintenance appointments and I brought my first ever hat 😂 I may never take it off, how did you cope when you found your first one and how old were you? I know some people don’t mind…but for me – grey is not okay haha x