Here ear…

The past three weeks have been a little bit of a nightmare. 

My daughter was booked in to have her ears pinned back, her first ever operation. She handled it wonderfully…no tears…no drama…mummy on the other hand had a full on Kim K cry face sob when she went under the anesetic. I wondered if I was doing the right thing, hoping everything would go to plan and I could have her back with me soon. 

Once she was under I was handed a little buzzer…you know the ones you get in the harvester?…I was told when she was awake the buzzer would go off and I could retrieve my child, which made me feel like I was waiting for a table not my baby lol! 

The operation is classed as a day case, so once she was awake, eating and drinking again she was allowed to go home.

After taking the bandages off, one ear looked more sore and redder than the other one – but that was the one that was more prominent so we thought nothing of it. She had no temperature, no pain, nothing so we just cleaned it everyday and hoped it was getting better.

When we went for her one week post op check up – we were told that they were not happy with the redder ear and she would have to be operated on again right there and then. I had the baby with me, no clothes or anything for Lulu and I was a bit shocked that my little girl was about to have her second anesetic & operation within a week. 

When she awoke the second time, she was sore and sad and that made my heart sink. I was also told that she would be kept in for a few days on strong iv antibiotics as the ear is a hard place for antibiotics to get too. The baby was not allowed to stay at the hospital so luckily we had lots of great family members on board to take it in turns with me as to who would stay what nights. I wanted to be with her all the time but also didn’t want to leave the baby for too long so it was difficult, the more children you have the harder it is to split yourself in these sorts of situations.

Anyway Lulu felt fab in herself following the op and I think started to get cabin fever stuck in the hospital with the lovely weather outside. It was almost one week after the second op, her ear looked great, she was doing really well and I was expecting them to say we could go home but they dropped another bombshell…they wanted her fasted from that evening to possibly have a third surgery in the morning. 

I lost it by this point. The thought of her having to have a third surgery in two weeks when she was making great progress really really upset me. Thankfully the next morning the surgeon came round and said her ears looked great and we could *finally* go home! Which was great timing as we had a holiday to Devon booked for the following day and she so needed the sea air and change of scenery. We’ve still got two weeks of oral antibiotics to get through and we’re not necessarily out of the woods yet but we’re on holiday…her ears look fantastic…her confidence has grown and she’s so happy with them…although I’ve been told I need to learn how to do plaits now haha! X 

To all of the wonderful nhs staff that looked after my baby and helped to calm my nerves…thank you 💗

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Two years ago…

Two years ago today was the last time I heard your voice before you became too medicated to speak. I told you how much I loved you and that you were my dad in my heart and always would be, how proud I was of you and that you were my idol. Even though MS had taken your body down bit by bit, your beautifully funny, sarcastic, spirited and clever mind never faltered. You ran a successful business even though you hadn’t left the house in years through being wheelchair bound, smoked like a trooper, washed down your medicine with a Jack Daniels and coke and always enjoyed life even though you were dealt some bad cards. Your laugh was infectious, your smile lit up the room. Although you could be a pain in the ass at times, like making me roll you 10,000 cigarettes a day (may be over reacting a little bit) I’d do it all over again for just one more day with you. Thank you for teaching me what a real dad should be. Thank you for being my best friend. Thank you for the true love you made my mum feel (I’ve never seen two people more made for each other than you two) and thank you just simply for coming into our lives. I love you and I miss you everyday. I may not have shared your blood but I shared your heart…and that’s more than enough for me. Two years ago I went to sleep holding your hand, you may not have woken up…but you live on everyday in my heart 💗 

What’s your emergency?…

Recently I’ve been teaching my six year old about what to do in an emergency. You hear these stories about the wonderful and brave children that have saved a parents, siblings or a friends life and although I hope she’s never in a situation where she has to do that – I want her to have an understanding of what to do if she is.

Firstly, I started off with 999 and told her if there was a fire, a burglar, someone was choking or hurt to call that number. She asked ‘How will I know who I need out of an ambulance, fire engine or a police officer?’ I said that someone would answer the phone and if you were unsure who you needed to just tell the operator what’s happened and they will send out whoever they think is most appropriate to deal with the situation you describe to them.

As many of us do, I have a password lock on my mobile phone and if I was unable or incapable of making the call she would have to do it. She knows my password but in a stressful situation she might forget it so I showed her how you can still make an emergency call on a locked I-phone.

Incase you were unaware, when you swipe to unlock your phone two options come up at the bottom corners, cancel or emergency. I told her to press on emergency and then (in an emergency) call 999. You can also set up your ‘Medical ID’ so if something had happened to you, a doctor or nurse etc would be able to contact whoever you had put as your emergency contact numbers and tell them where you were and if you were okay. You can also put down if you take any medications or are allergic to anything so they don’t give you any medication that could potentially do more harm than good.

I don’t know if six is too young to teach her this, I think you can gage for yourself whether you think your child is mature enough to know what you’re telling them and only use it in a life or death situation or whether they’ll start calling 999 every time you refuse to buy them a kinder egg while out shopping! But, in all seriousness I was trying to equip her with some potentially life saving knowledge as I know she can handle it.

I read recently that St John Ambulance are trying to get first aid taught to school children and I definitely think that should happen. You never know what’s around the corner and I think we should all be a bit more clued up on how to help people in any medical or emergency situation…You never know – it could just be your life they help save! x

To donate, or not to donate…that is the question

This week I signed the organ donation register and received my donor card. I’ve been meaning to do it for a long time & I’m  not quite sure what stopped me. Maybe it was my own morbid anxieties about the thought of not being here anymore and a ridiculous thought I used to have. I thought they wouldn’t try as hard to save me as someone who wasn’t on the list (Crazy right?!) but becoming a mother and knowing that if my babies (God forbid) or I ever needed a transplant we would accept one gave me the kick up the a** I needed to get on the list. What good would they be to me once I’m gone? The only thing I was unsure about donating was my eyes but after speaking to my mum she made a very valid point that at least I’d still be able to see the world…every cloud eyy?! 
I’m not trying to sway your decision by any means, it’s a very personal choice but if you are thinking about it – just do it. Someone very close to my heart is on that waiting list so I know how important donations are imagine leaving your legacy as a life saver 💗