Mean girls…

As it’s National ‘Mean girls’ day today…I thought this would be a perfect time to share my experience.

In my teens and *just* into my twenties I had been part of a big group of girl friends. We went on holidays together, laughed together and cried together. I loved having lots of friends, there was always someone there to talk to or give advice, always someone to meet up with if you were bored and I thought we’d always be friends. How wrong was I? 

Looking back on it now, it wasn’t as great as it seemed at the time. There was always bitchiness and jealousy among some of the group and girls would take sides with one and isolate the other etc. I always tried to stay neutral in those situations, I like everyone and anyone. I treat everyone with the same respect (sometimes more) than they give me, I was a lot softer by nature then, but now, if you cross me – You’ll know about it. 

That’s exactly what one of my *best* friends did. I was on holiday with another friend of mine and this so called best friend of mine slept with my *then* boyfriend! 

A friend out of our group told me what she’d done when we got back. I confronted her and she swore blindly that she hadn’t. I confronted him and he said the same. Naively, I believed them – either I was too young and dumb to see through them or they both deserve an Oscar. If she had come clean to me at the time and admitted it – it would’ve been him that I showed the door too, but she didn’t, she stayed quiet. She let me move in with this guy when she knew what they had done. 

He became more and more controlling and she became more and more distant (probably out of fear of me finding out the truth). So did the whole of the ‘gang.’ No one was there for me, no one was on my side. I was the one being isolated.

When I finally did see the light – after slip ups on both their parts – I spoke to her. I was crying, upset and I actually apologised to her! I wanted my girls back. Do you know what she said? ‘It’s too late for that, it just won’t work anymore, I don’t think we can be friends.’ She was the one in the wrong but somehow she was the one that got to keep all our ‘friends.’ She was definitely the ‘Regina George’ of our group! I was devestated (at first) but then I realised if they could just drop me like that, then they never really were very good ‘friends’ to begin with. 

So to sum up, do I miss my ‘sex and the city’ style girl gang? Sometimes yes…but overall no. I keep my circle a lot smaller these days with true friends who would – and have been – there for me in a crisis! Some girls can be so mean. So if you find yourself in a similar predicament, let those toxic people go…new people will come into your life and it’ll be even better than you could have ever imagined – you go Glen coco!! X 

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What’s your emergency?…

Recently I’ve been teaching my six year old about what to do in an emergency. You hear these stories about the wonderful and brave children that have saved a parents, siblings or a friends life and although I hope she’s never in a situation where she has to do that – I want her to have an understanding of what to do if she is.

Firstly, I started off with 999 and told her if there was a fire, a burglar, someone was choking or hurt to call that number. She asked ‘How will I know who I need out of an ambulance, fire engine or a police officer?’ I said that someone would answer the phone and if you were unsure who you needed to just tell the operator what’s happened and they will send out whoever they think is most appropriate to deal with the situation you describe to them.

As many of us do, I have a password lock on my mobile phone and if I was unable or incapable of making the call she would have to do it. She knows my password but in a stressful situation she might forget it so I showed her how you can still make an emergency call on a locked I-phone.

Incase you were unaware, when you swipe to unlock your phone two options come up at the bottom corners, cancel or emergency. I told her to press on emergency and then (in an emergency) call 999. You can also set up your ‘Medical ID’ so if something had happened to you, a doctor or nurse etc would be able to contact whoever you had put as your emergency contact numbers and tell them where you were and if you were okay. You can also put down if you take any medications or are allergic to anything so they don’t give you any medication that could potentially do more harm than good.

I don’t know if six is too young to teach her this, I think you can gage for yourself whether you think your child is mature enough to know what you’re telling them and only use it in a life or death situation or whether they’ll start calling 999 every time you refuse to buy them a kinder egg while out shopping! But, in all seriousness I was trying to equip her with some potentially life saving knowledge as I know she can handle it.

I read recently that St John Ambulance are trying to get first aid taught to school children and I definitely think that should happen. You never know what’s around the corner and I think we should all be a bit more clued up on how to help people in any medical or emergency situation…You never know – it could just be your life they help save! x

All I ever wanted…

Have you seen the gorgeous Melimelo bags? There’s one that resonated with me so much. The slogan on it was ‘All I ever wanted was everything’ and I am so guilty of this. But what do you class as everything? Is anyone ever truly happy and satisfied with what they have? It’s human nature – we always want more.

When I was younger I used to think when I have the perfect house, car, clothes,figure and designer handbags coming out of my ears…that’s when i’ll have ‘made it.’ Approaching 30, renting, covering my lumps and bumps in primark leggings and barely being able to afford a gingerbread house – let alone the dream house on rightmove, I see now that that, in fact was not ‘everything.’

Seeing people I love, fighting just to stay alive, to have one more sniff of a loved ones head. To get oxygen into their lungs. To hear I love you one more time. You realise that however lovely it would be to have the materialistic items – none of it means anything really. You wont want to hug your designer shoes when the end comes, you wont be flicking through photo albums of your top spec cars, reminiscing about how much money you’ve spent over the years. It will be the people that you shared your life with, the ones you gave life too and the friends along the way…that’s who you’ll want there, that is what matters. Money may be able to buy you a certain amount of happiness but it cant buy you life.

I am very lucky to have been able to of had two beautiful children that I love with every atom of my being, I have a wonderful partner, mother, siblings and friends. My children have their health and I have mine to be able to look after them and watch them grow – and that, to me…is in fact – MY EVERYTHING.

To donate, or not to donate…that is the question

This week I signed the organ donation register and received my donor card. I’ve been meaning to do it for a long time & I’m  not quite sure what stopped me. Maybe it was my own morbid anxieties about the thought of not being here anymore and a ridiculous thought I used to have. I thought they wouldn’t try as hard to save me as someone who wasn’t on the list (Crazy right?!) but becoming a mother and knowing that if my babies (God forbid) or I ever needed a transplant we would accept one gave me the kick up the a** I needed to get on the list. What good would they be to me once I’m gone? The only thing I was unsure about donating was my eyes but after speaking to my mum she made a very valid point that at least I’d still be able to see the world…every cloud eyy?! 
I’m not trying to sway your decision by any means, it’s a very personal choice but if you are thinking about it – just do it. Someone very close to my heart is on that waiting list so I know how important donations are imagine leaving your legacy as a life saver 💗 

Mamia Mia…

My little man is 7 months now – I know, I can’t actually believe it, time flys by & I just wanted to write a post on something we have been using since day one, The Mamia products from Aldi. I have to admit when I had my first child – I was a bit of a pampers snob, nothing else would do but when I had Rocco someone brought us a pack of Mamia nappies so I thought we may aswell give them a go & we’ve not looked back. They hold a lot of liquid and I don’t need to worry for instance on a slightly longer car journey that he may have leaked out of it, they have been fab! We’ve since got the nappy bags and baby wipes which I love, I use them on everything; the baby, the car, my face – you get the gist lol! What I particularly love about the wipes is that the packet dispenses one at a time so when you’re up to your elbows in a poosplosion you don’t need to worry about picking them apart like other brands that all stick together and make the unpleasant task even harder to complete. They are so reasonable aswell – he’s on size 4 nappies now and I think we got a box of about 84 nappies for around £5 which is fantastic. So I just wanted to say if like me you’re a bit of a nappy snob – don’t be! x 

A lot has changed…

So I’ve come to the realisation that I haven’t been a great blogger recently (or ever haha!) but I am determined to change that. Since I last checked in – I’ve had another baby.

Rocco is now a bouncing beautiful 3 month old and my oldest child Lulu will be SIX in 14 days. I am so lucky to have one of each, they are wonderful and I feel so blessed to be their mummy. He’s already sleeping through the night but is now getting teeth so all that might change soon *Yawn* He’s also already growing out of 3 – 6 month clothing, but he was 11lbs 7oz born – so what do you expect?!

 

It’s a very, very…mad world…

Driving around Surrey today I was overwhelmed by the amount of police I saw. Whether they were on foot patrol or in vehicles – there was just so many. While it’s reassuring, I suppose, to see them – to me it was also a very sad sight and a prominent reminder of the danger we could all be in at any given moment. 

There are so many natural diseases, disasters or accidents waiting to cut us down in our prime and I know firsthand how absolutely devastating that is after loosing my wonderful step dad Mark this year to Multiple sclerosis. He was 52. So please, let’s stop killing each other. Without trying to sound too much like Miss World, the older I’m getting the more I want world peace. I don’t want to be scared every time I go on a bus, train, plane or even just leave the house. Life is so short. So precious. Cherish it. 

I never understand the people that say they don’t want to get old. If you were playing a computer game, reaching the highest level would make you the winner. It should be seen the same for age – I think it would be a wonderful prize to reach 80, 90, 100+ To see my babies have babies. Their babies have babies and so on. To see all these little humans arrive in to the world that wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t for you. To see the world change, hopefully for the better and to see things through an older & more wiser set of eyes. You guys are the winners in this game called life a lot don’t even make it far past the starting post. Be proud. Be thankful – and tell me your secrets 😉 x 

The New year started with a bang…

And no…I don’t mean all the fireworks – my boiler literally exploded with a huge bang just as I was about to head out on New Year’s Eve drenching me…and my whole flat in about 4 inches of water! Needless to say I was not really in the party spirit after that. That’s kind of why I haven’t been on here for a while, that and a few other things I’ll tell you about soon. But the great news is…I’ve met a new guy – he’s lovely 💜 we’ve been together just over 4 months now, the time has flown by! 

Hope you’ve all been keeping well and all the mummies out there have had a wonderful Mother’s Day! I got some beautiful cards and flowers from Lulu and we rounded off the day with big cuddles on the sofa and a ‘dramatic reading’ of Love you forever (if you’re a friends fan you’ll know) it’s such a beautiful children’s book. 

I just wanted to check in and say I haven’t forgotten about you and (in the voice of good old Arnie) ‘I’ll be back!’ 😉 x

Grey is not okay!…

So Halloween came a few days early for me when my hairdresser of many years said those words women around the globe dread to hear…’Oh look, it’s your first grey hair.’ Panic stirred inside me & I started having a ‘late twenties’ crisis (I hate to think what my mid life one will be like haha!) What have I achieved? Where is my life going? Will I ever meet the one? Will I have more babies? 

It seems like everything has flown by so quickly, I can remember being at reception in school…and now I have a daughter that goes to the very same school – with some of the teachers that taught me (wonder how old that makes them feel!) I remember my 18th, my 21st and all the years inbetween like it was yesterday but it wasn’t and that scares me. I wish I could go back and savour every moment good or bad. It’s like I was born…I fast forwarded 27 years…and now I’m a grey haired (one hair…but still)  *almost 30 year old 😱 when did life pass me by. Btw I know how totally dramatic I sound but one grey hair at a time my youth is slipping further and further away – so my crisis drove me to create a tinder account (I will update you in my next post about this lol)  book in for more regular hair maintenance appointments and I brought my first ever hat 😂 I may never take it off, how did you cope when you found your first one and how old were you? I know some people don’t mind…but for me – grey is not okay haha x